Stories and Jokes

This blog is for stories of how some of our Universal Life Church ministers are using their ministries and also a collection of amusing and clean religious jokes to make you smile.

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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The Atheist and the Little Girl

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

    The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

    "Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.

    "OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

    The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

    To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don't know shit?"

    And then she went back to reading her book.

Universal Life Church
 

Monday, January 30, 2012

Kind Words

Hi Amy,  Your messages are always very inspiring and uplifting!  I look forward to your writings and I pass them on to others.  Hugs to you too Amy!!  You are a wonderful person and I'm sure that I'm not the only one who thinks that you are nothing less than exceptional.  You are in my thoughts very often.   John

Ordination with the Universal Life Church, is free,  and lasts for life, so use the Free Online Ordination, button.We also offer many free wedding ceremonies for your use.  We also offer some kind words, mailed weekly, to brighten your spirit.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Kind Words

Dear Rev Amy,

Bless you for your email messages. Yesterday's was so important to me. I am going through a very, very difficult time right now and needed to hear that I should follow my own path.

Get the good words coming. I find them so helpful.

Rev Pam
To become an ordained minister through the Universal Life Church is free and fast.  At our Online Seminary, we believe in training our ministers through distant learning courses, online sermons, weddings and funeral ceremonies and a lot more.  Many of these testimonials are from people who have been receiving our kind words' mailings.  They're free and heartfelt.  I hope you take advantage of them and sign up.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Kind Words

THANK YOU AMY!  what a kind message to receive as I sign online today.  GOD BLESS YOU! 
with love always,
Amy

Ordination with the Universal Life Church, is free,  and lasts for life, so use the Free Online Ordination, button.We also offer many free wedding ceremonies for your use.  We also offer some kind words, mailed weekly, to brighten your spirit.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Kind Words

The most practical, beautiful, workable philosophy in the world won't work - if you won't.

Universal Life Church 

To become an ordained minister through the Universal Life Church is free and fast.  At our Online Seminary, we believe in training our ministers through distant learning courses, online sermons, weddings and funeral ceremonies and a lot more.  Many of these testimonials are from people who have been receiving our kind words' mailings.  They're free and heartfelt.  I hope you take advantage of them and sign up.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Kind Words

I like the ULC Seminary and encourage you to continue with its programs.  I do read every newsletter although I seldom respond immediately to its news.  I have completed the course on Buddhism and need to get busy writing up papers for the Wicca and the Paganism courses.  I also like the interesting discourse series and read every one.

Herb Jensen
Ordination with the Universal Life Church, is free,  and lasts for life, so use the Free Online Ordination, button.We also offer many free wedding ceremonies for your use.  We also offer some kind words, mailed weekly, to brighten your spirit.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Kind Words

Hi, Amy,
I enjoy everything you send me.   Right now, enjoying summer, working in the garden and working on consciously creating my reality.  :-)  Dreaming.  I am paying attention to the things you send and really appreciate them.  Sometimes/most often they are SOOO perfect!  Thank you for your hard work and love in what you do.
Peace
Mardra Hord

To become an ordained minister through the Universal Life Church is free and fast.  At our Online Seminary, we believe in training our ministers through distant learning courses, online sermons, weddings and funeral ceremonies and a lot more.  Many of these testimonials are from people who have been receiving our kind words' mailings.  They're free and heartfelt.  I hope you take advantage of them and sign up.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Kind Words

Amy,
Not sure how you are coming up with these words of inspiration, but they are perfect!!!!
Thank you so much.
        Love, 
                Lynn
Ordination with the Universal Life Church, is free,  and lasts for life, so use the Free Online Ordination, button.We also offer many free wedding ceremonies for your use.  We also offer some kind words, mailed weekly, to brighten your spirit.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Kind Words

Hiya Amy
In my head I know that these are fed through a system that just plugs in my name, but in my heart I am touched just the same.

Thank you for continuing these love notes!  They seem to arrive when I'm in a crux.  Makes me smile!

Christie

To become an ordained minister through the Universal Life Church is free and fast.  At our Online Seminary, we believe in training our ministers through distant learning courses, online sermons, weddings and funeral ceremonies and a lot more.  Many of these testimonials are from people who have been receiving our kind words' mailings.  They're free and heartfelt.  I hope you take advantage of them and sign up.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Kind Words

Hi Amy,

   I must say,  I stopped and thought about the statement in the email you sent.  

Simple..   And yet has the ability to bring forth one of the most  fulfilling and powerful things we have..  "Self Realization"

May I spread this statement to others in my life? 
Rick


To become an ordained minister through the Universal Life Church is free and fast.  At our Online Seminary, we believe in training our ministers through distant learning courses, online sermons, weddings and funeral ceremonies and a lot more.  Many of these testimonials are from people who have been receiving our kind words' mailings.  They're free and heartfelt.  I hope you take advantage of them and sign up.

Kind Words

I downloaded the toolbar and I think it is great!  The things we can do with it is fantastic!  Thank you Amy.  It is greatly appreciated what the ULC seminary has done.  God bless you.

Reverend Terry Sue

Ordination with the Universal Life Church, is free,  and lasts for life, so use the Free Online Ordination, button.We also offer many free wedding ceremonies for your use.  We also offer some kind words, mailed weekly, to brighten your spirit.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Kind Words

Amy,
When I come home, the first thing I do is check my emails to see if you had written.  I do look forward to hearing from you.  You make a bad day good, and a good day wonderful.  Thank you.

Have a great evening.
Ken 
Kind Words

Ordination with the Universal Life Church, is free,  and lasts for life, so use the Free Online Ordination, button.We also offer many free wedding ceremonies for your use.  We also offer some kind words, mailed weekly, to brighten your spirit.