Universal Life Church

Need Washing?
Universal Life Church

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in WalMart. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence.  

 

It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there, under the awning, just inside the door of the WalMart.

We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day.

 

I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world.  Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

Her little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, 'Mom let's run through the rain,'

she said.

'What?' Mom asked.

'Let's run through the rain!' She repeated.

'No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit,' Mom replied.

This young child waited a minute and repeated: 'Mom, let's run through the rain..'

'We'll get soaked if we do,' Mom said.

'No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning,' the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.

'This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?'

'Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, ' If God can get us through this, He can get us through anything! ' '

The entire crowd stopped dead silent.. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain.. We all stood silently. No one left. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say.

 

Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

'Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD let's us get wet, well maybe we just need washing,' Mom said.

Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They got soaked.

 

They were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars. And yes, I did.

 

I ran.  I got wet.  I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday.

 

To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.
I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.


They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Take the time to live!!!


Keep in touch with your friends, you never know when you'll need each other --

 

and remember to run in the rain!

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The Universal Life Church is a comprehensive online seminary where we have classes in Christianity, Wicca, Paganism, two courses in Metaphysics and much more. I have been a proud member of the ULC for many years and the Seminary since its inception.

The Universal Life Church offers handfasting ceremonies, funeral ceremonies and free minister training.

As a long time member of ULC, Rev. Long created the seminary site to help train our ministers. We also have a huge selection of Universal Life Church  minister supplies. Since being ordained with the Universal Life Church for so many years and it's Seminary since the beginning, I've watch the huge change and growth that has continued to happen.

Try our new free toolbar at: ULC Toolbar

Universal Life Church

 

Finkelstein and Jesus Jesus was wandering around Jerusalem when he decided that he really needed a new robe. After looking around for a while, he saw a sign for Finkelstein, the Tailor.. So, he went in and made the necessary arrangements to have Finkelstein prepare a new robe for him. A few days later, when the robe was finished, Jesus tried it on -- and it was a perfect fit! He asked how much he owed. Finkelstein brushed him off: "No, no, no, for the Son of God there's no charge! However, may I ask for a small favor. Whenever you give a sermon, perhaps you could just mention that your nice new robe was made by Finkelstein, the Tailor?" Jesus readily agreed and as promised, extolled the virtues of his Finkelstein robe whenever he spoke to the masses. A few months later, while Jesus was again walking through Jerusalem , he happened to walk past Finkelstein's shop and noted a huge line of people waiting for Finkelstein's robes. He pushed his way through the crowd to speak to him and as soon as Finkelstein spotted him he said: "Jesus, Jesus, look what you've done for my business! Would you consider a partnership?" "Certainly," replied Jesus. "Jesus & Finkelstein it is." "Oh, no, no," said Finkelstein. "Finkelstein & Jesus. After all, I am the craftsman." The two of them debated this for some time. Their discussion was long and spirited, but ultimately fruitful -- and they finally came up with a mutually acceptable compromise.. A few days later, the new sign went up over Finkelstein's shop:

Lord and Taylor's

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The Universal Life Church is a comprehensive online seminary where we have classes in Christianity, Wicca, Paganism, two courses in Metaphysics and much more. I have been a proud member of the ULC for many years and the Seminary since its inception.

The Universal Life Church offers handfasting ceremonies, funeral ceremonies and free minister training.

As a long time member of ULC, Rev. Long created the seminary site to help train our ministers. We also have a huge selection of Universal Life Church  minister supplies. Since being ordained with the Universal Life Church for so many years and it's Seminary since the beginning, I've watch the huge change and growth that has continued to happen.

Try our new free toolbar at: ULC Toolbar

Universal Life Church

The Mouse Trap
A mouse looked through the crack in the wall
to see the farmer and his wife open a package.
"What food might this contain?"  The mouse wondered.
He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.


Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed this warning
"There is a mousetrap in the house!
There is a mousetrap in the house!"


The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, " Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you,
but it is of no consequence to me.
I cannot be bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the pig and told him,
"There is a mousetrap in the house!
There is a mousetrap in the house!"


The pig sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse,
but there is nothing I can do about it but pray.
Be assured you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow and said,
"There is a mousetrap in the house!
There is a mousetrap in the house!"




The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose."

So, the mouse returned to the house,
head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap... Alone.

& That very night a sound was heard throughout the house
-- the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.

The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught.

In the darkness, she did not see it.
It was a venomous snake
whose tail was caught in the trap.

The snake bit the farmer's wife.
The farmer rushed her to the hospital.

When she returned home she still had a fever.
Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup
So the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard
for the soup's main ingredient:

But his wife's sickness continued.
Friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock.
To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.


But, alas, the farmer's wife did not get well...
She died.




So many people came for her funeral that the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them for the funeral luncheon.

And the mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.

The next time you hear someone is facing a problem and you think it doesn't concern you, remember



When one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.
We are all involved in this journey called life.
We must keep an eye out for one another
and make an extra effort to encourage one another.

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Ordination with the Universal Life Church, is free,  and lasts for life, so use the Free Online Ordination, button.

The  ULC, run by Rev. Long, has created a chaplaincy program to help train our ministers. We also have a huge catalog of Universal Life Church materials.  I've been ordained with the Universal Life Church for many years and it's Seminary since the beginning and have loved watching the continual growth of the seminary.

Universal LIfe Church

This is one of the best clean jokes I've seen in awhile! 

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering. 

Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.' 

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. 

They moused. 

They faxed. 

They e-mailed. 

They e-mailed with attachments. 

They downloaded.. 

They did spreadsheets! 

They wrote reports. 

They created labels and cards.. 

They created charts and graphs.. 

They did some genealogy reports . 

They did every job known to man. 

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than h***. 

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed  across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.. 

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. 

Jesus just sighed.. 

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: 

'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!' 
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. 
Satan observed this and became irate. 
'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?' 
God just shrugged and said, 

JESUS SAVES....

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Ordination with the Universal Life Church, is free,  and lasts for life, so use the Free Online Ordination, button.

The  ULC, run by Rev. Long, has created a chaplaincy program to help train our ministers. We also have a huge catalog of Universal Life Church materials.  I've been ordained with the Universal Life Church for many years and it's Seminary since the beginning and have loved watching the continual growth of the seminary.

 

Universal Life Church

 A Little 'Dark' Humor


A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.

The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark."

The mother smiled. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you."

The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?"

"Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"

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Ordination with the Universal Life Church, is free,  and lasts for life, so use the Free Online Ordination, button.

The  ULC, run by Rev. Long, has created a chaplaincy program to help train our ministers. We also have a huge catalog of Universal Life Church materials.  I've been ordained with the Universal Life Church for many years and it's Seminary since the beginning and have loved watching the continual growth of the seminary. 

Universal Life Church

Universal Life Church

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.

"Lord I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution.  I shall create a man for you."

"What's a man, Lord?"

"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits.  He'll lie, cheat, and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time.  But...he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things.  He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs.  He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about.  He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.  What's the catch, Lord?"

"Well...you can have him one condition."

"What's that Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring...So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first.  Just remember, it's our little secret....

you know, WOMAN TO WOMAN."

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Ordination with the Universal Life Church, is free,  and lasts for life, so use the Free Online Ordination, button.

The  ULC, run by Rev. Long, has created a chaplaincy program to help train our ministers. We also have a huge catalog of Universal Life Church materials.  I've been ordained with the Universal Life Church for many years and it's Seminary since the beginning and have loved watching the continual growth of the seminary.