Universal Life Church

God's Wife

LOOK OUT FOR THE LAST STORY....IT WILL KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF  

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.  

The winner was:

A four-year-old child, whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman, who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy just said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry.'   (This one is for each of you is a soulmate to anyone and everyone....we need you and your empathy/compassion...)

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Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of  a family One little boy in the picture had a different hair color than the other members. One of her students suggested that he was adopted.

A little girl said, 'I know all about adoption, I was adopted..'

'What does it mean to be adopted?', asked another child. 

'It means', said the girl, 'that you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy!'   (This one is for all mothers, grandmothers, aunts, and 'moms at heart'....'teachers,' need I go on?)

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On my way home one day, I stopped to watch a Little League base ball game that was being played in a park near my home. As I sat down behind the bench on the first-base line, I asked one of the boys what the score was

'We're behind 14 to nothing,' he answered with a smile.

'Really,' I said. 'I have to say you don't look very discouraged.'

'Discouraged?', the boy asked with a puzzled look on his face...

'Why should we be discouraged? We haven't been up to bat yet.'  (This is for all my sports-minded friends...)

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Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in  life, I stop and think about little Jamie

Jamie was trying out for a part in the school play. His mother told  me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen.

On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect him after school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and excitement.  'Guess what, Mom,' he shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to me.....'I've been chosen to clap and cheer.'   (This one is for all my fine arts people who work with children. May children NEVER be told they can be the 'pine trees' in the Christmas program....)

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An eye witness account from New York City , on a cold day in December, some years ago: A little boy, about 10-years-old, was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold. 
A lady approached the young boy and said, 'My, but you're in such deep thought staring in that window!' 
'I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,'was the boy's reply.

The lady took him by the hand, went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her.

She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with the towel.

By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes.

She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him.. She patted him on the head and said, 'No doubt, you will be more comfortable now.'

As she turned to go, the astonished kid caught her by the hand, and looking up into her face, with tears in his eyes, asked her.

'Are you God's wife?'   

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The Universal Life Church is a comprehensive online seminary where we have various classes in Christianity, one on Wicca, along with several Pagan courses, more than a few courses about Metaphysics with more being added regularly.

Ordination with the Universal Life Church, is free, legal and lasts for life, so please take advantage of our Free Online Ordination.

The  ULC, run by Rev. Long, has created a chaplaincy program to help train our ministers. We also have a huge catalog of minister supplies.  I've been ordained with the Universal Life Church for many years and am proud to have started the Seminary.

Try our new free toolbar at: ULC Toolbar

 

Kind Words

Dear Amy,

     Your timing is impeccable!  Darn near everything is wonderful about you too!!!   Praise God...Our Heavenly Father....

Love, Victoria

Universal Life Church 
Ordination with the Universal Life Church, is free,  and lasts for life, so use the Free Online Ordination, button.We also offer many free wedding ceremonies for your use.  We also offer some kind words, mailed weekly, to brighten your spirit. 

Universal Life Church

Dear Amy,

     Your timing is impeccable!  Darn near everything is wonderful about you too!!!   Praise God...Our Heavenly Father.... on Father's Day! 

Love, Victoria

Universal Life Church

Universal Life Church

THE WET PANTS


  Come with me to a third grade classroom.....

  There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet.

  He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives!

  The boy believes his heart is going to stop! He puts his head down and prays this prayer, 'Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat.'

  He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered.

  As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water.

  Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap.

  The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, 'Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!'
 
  Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy.

  The teacher gathers him up and rushes him downstairs. Then she gives him a pair of gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out.

  Mean while, all the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around the boy's desk.

  The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie.

  Susie tries to help the other kids, but they tell her to get out. "You've done enough, you klutz!"

  Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, 'You did that on purpose, didn't you?'

  Susie whispers back to him, 'I wet my pants once too!'

  May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good..

  Remember.....Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

  Each and everyone one of us is going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless us all in a way that only He can.

  Keep your faith in Him and He will continually Bless you, and watch out for you!

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The Universal Life Church is a comprehensive online seminary where we have various classes in Christianity, one on Wicca, along with several Pagan courses, more than a few courses about Metaphysics with more being added regularly.

Ordination with the Universal Life Church, is free, legal and lasts for life, so please take advantage of our Free Online Ordination.

The  ULC, run by Rev. Long, has created a chaplaincy program to help train our ministers. We also have a huge catalog of minister supplies.  I've been ordained with the Universal Life Church for many years and am proud to have started the Seminary.

Try our new free toolbar at: ULC Toolbar

 

Kind Words

If your actions inspire others to dream more,
learn more, do more and become more,
you are a leader.

John Quincy Adams
Universal Life Church

To become an ordained minister through the Universal Life Church is free and fast.  At our Online Seminary, we believe in training our ministers through distant learning courses, online sermons, weddings and funeral ceremonies and a lot more.  Many of these testimonials are from people who have been receiving our kind words' mailings.  They're free and heartfelt.  I hope you take advantage of them and sign up.

Kind Words

Bereavement Counseling
Thank you Amy.

You may not realize how timely this was.

I hope to continue studies as time and funds permit.  I do appreciate all of your emails. I feel fortunate to be included.

Star*


Ordination with the Universal Life Church, is free,  and lasts for life, so use the Free Online Ordination, button.We also offer many free wedding ceremonies for your use.  We also offer some kind words, mailed weekly, to brighten your spirit.

Universal Life Church

STROKE: Remember The 1st Three Letters.... S.T.R.
 

 

My nurse friend sent this and encouraged me to post it and spread the word. I agree.

If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks. Seriously..

Please read:
STROKE IDENTIFICATION:
During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) ......she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes.

They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening.

Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00 pm Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die.... they end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this...
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke... totally . He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.
RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Thank God for the sense to remember the "3" steps, STR . Read and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke .

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
S * Ask the individual to SMILE.
T * Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently)
(i.e. It is sunny out today)
R * Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call 999/911 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.
New Sign of a Stroke -------- Stick out Your Tongue
NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue.. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other , that is also an indication of a stroke.

 
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The Universal Life Church is a comprehensive online seminary where we have various classes in Christianity, one on Wicca, along with several Pagan courses, more than a few courses about Metaphysics with more being added regularly.

Ordination with the Universal Life Church, is free, legal and lasts for life, so please take advantage of our Free Online Ordination.

The  ULC, run by Rev. Long, has created a chaplaincy program to help train our ministers. We also have a huge catalog of minister supplies.  I've been ordained with the Universal Life Church for many years and am proud to have started the Seminary.

Try our new free toolbar at: ULC Toolbar

 

Universal Life Church

The Farmer's Donkey....

One day a farmer's donkey fell into an abandoned well.  The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was too old and the well needed to be covered up anyway; so it just wasn't worth it to him to try to retrieve the donkey.
 

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.  They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. Realizing what was happening, the donkey at first cried and wailed horribly.

Then, a few shovel-fulls later, he quieted down completely.  The farmer peered down into the well, and was astounded by what he saw. With every shovel-full of dirt that hit his back, the donkey would shake it off and take a step up on the new layer of dirt.
 

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.  Pretty soon, the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off, to the shock and astonishment of everyone.
 

The Moral: Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to stop wailing, and not let the dirt bury you, but to shake it off and take a step up.  Each one of our troubles is a stepping-stone.  We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

 

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

By the way, after he calmed down, the donkey kicked the crap out of the farmer who tried to bury him, which brings us to the second moral of this story: When you try to cover your ass, you will always get your ass kicked.

*******************************

The Universal Life Church is a comprehensive online seminary where we have various classes in Christianity, one on Wicca, along with several Pagan courses, more than a few courses about Metaphysics with more being added regularly.

Ordination with the Universal Life Church, is free, legal and lasts for life, so please take advantage of our Free Online Ordination.

The  ULC, run by Rev. Long, has created a chaplaincy program to help train our ministers. We also have a huge catalog of minister supplies.  I've been ordained with the Universal Life Church for many years and am proud to have started the Seminary.

Try our new free toolbar at: ULC Toolbar

 

Universal Life Church

Little Leroy went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts. She said, "Well Leroy, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money to just go out and buy you anything you want. So why don't you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead." After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room. He finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus.

Dear Jesus,
I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle.

Your Friend,
Leroy

Now, Leroy knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (brat), so he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.

Dear Jesus,
I've been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle.

Your Truly,
Leroy

Well, Leroy knew this wasn't totally honest, so he tore it up and tried again.

Dear Jesus,
I've thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a bicycle?

Leroy

Well, Leroy looked deep down in his heart, which by the way was what his mother really wanted. He knew he had been terrible and was deserving of almost nothing. He crumpled up the letter, threw it in the trash can and went running outside. He aimlessly wandered about depressed because of the way he treated his parents and really considered his actions. He finally found himself in front of a Catholic Church. Leroy went inside and knelt down, looking around not knowing what he should really do. Leroy finally got up and began to walk out the door and was looking at all the statues. All of a sudden he grabbed a small one and ran out the door. He went home, hid it under his bed and wrote this letter.

Jesus,
I've got your mama. If you ever want to see her again, give me a bike!

Sincerely,
You know who

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