Stories and Jokes

This blog is for stories of how some of our Universal Life Church ministers are using their ministries and also a collection of amusing and clean religious jokes to make you smile.

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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Universal Life Church


One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.
"Lord I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution.  I shall create a man for you."
"What's a man, Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits.  He'll lie, cheat, and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time.  But...he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things.  He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs.  He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about.  He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.  What's the catch, Lord?"
"Well...you can have him one condition."
"What's that Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring...So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first.  Just remember, it's our little secret....
you know, WOMAN TO WOMAN."

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Ordination with the Universal Life Church, is free,  and lasts for life, so use the Free Online Ordination, button.

The  ULC, run by Rev. Long, has created a chaplaincy program to help train our ministers. We also have a huge catalog of Universal Life Church materials.  I've been ordained with the Universal Life Church for many years and it's Seminary since the beginning and have loved watching the continual growth of the seminary. 

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